Crazy Long

Lovely things are happening everywhere if you just take the time to stop and look at them. Yes, I know I probably sound like some sort of Prozac commercial, but I saw the most beautiful sunset today. It looked like someone was taking a walk across the sky, leaving a trail of pink, peach, and gray dust in their wake. Which only led my thoughts to the past and straight for a verse I remember from my church going days.
*The clouds are the dust beneath His feet.*
Not positive if that's word for word but it struck a chord deep down in the part of me that I keep locked tight. The place where faith and reality meet.
I've seen things in my life that would bring most people to their knees in repentance...hell, they brought me there at the time...and I know what the truth is. I'm not saying there isn't a God. There definitely is. How can someone look at this planet, know the things we do, and still believe otherwise? That man is a fool. There are so many discoveries in science that have pointed to the existence of a being bigger than our imagination. Bigger than us. A far grander scale of things than we're led to believe. Yet, people still choose to ignore the facts and lean toward the straw grasping theories we call 'fact' while snubbing their nose at what is staring them in the face.
I was raised in the church. My parents, though far from perfect, tried to raise me right. I have to admit they did a good job considering the obstacles in their paths about 90% of the time. I didn't do drugs (except once at eighteen..it’s called being stupid), I wasn't in a gang, I didn't sleep around, and I was overall, a pretty good kid. Thing is, my life revolved around church and religion so much that when one of those let me down, my entire world crumbled. There was a hiccup in my life, which led to an unintended pregnancy. I knew I'd done wrong, but taking from the knowledge that had been instilled in me forever, I knew God would forgive me.
Unfortunately, people weren't as forgiving.
The same people who raised and mentored me. How disappointing is that?
Very...especially to a teenager that truly believed in goodness of people.
My 'worldly' friends were much more understanding, loving, forgiving, and helping than those who dared call themselves Christians. I was ashamed of calling the people in my congregation that.
So I gave up.
On God?
Yes. For a while.
Now, I realize it wasn't his fault. Man is flawed, He is not.
I still resent those people who were too full of their own crap to think twice about their actions.
Oh well.
For those of you who are strong believers, don't get me wrong. I give props to those who are true to their beliefs. It isn't easy to stay on the right path.
But, don't judge people. Don't ever think higher of yourself just because you have this many years in church. Or this many years preaching. None of that means anything to the person you are putting down. You may as well be talking out of your ass for all the good it's gonna do you.
And that is my piece.
:)
If you don't like it, then don't read it. I do this for my own happiness heheheh.
If you like it, great, if it makes you laugh...even better! But nobody's holding a gun to your head.
And if they are...that's sick. Seriously sick.
My thoughts on horses.
Horses are great. Cats are greater. Thus sayeth me.
Chocolate Sardines.
I know what you're thinking...this chick is seriously twisted.
Chocolate sardines?
So hear me out, eh? Yes, hear me out you shall!
This is my own little saying.
You know those moments in life that you think should be sweet...and perhaps they start off that way, they most often do...but then they turn into nasty situations?
CHOCOLATE SARDINES!!
It's those times that tease your senses and lure you in with the promise of delicious pleasure...only to leave you with a salty chunk of fishiness. Maybe even a spine?
Ugh! I just grossed myself out.
ATLANTIS
Yeah, I do think it existed at one point, and perhaps still does.
There is enough 'fact' on both sides of this argument for it to provoke a nice heated discussion on the topic. How does that saying go? Don't bring up religion, politics and Atlantis? heheheh
There are so many theories; I couldn't even begin to tell you my thoughts on all of them.
Instead, I'll leave you with my own.
I think Atlantis was a city, maybe an island, and it just disappeared into another dimension.
They were advanced people! An advanced civilization that probably figured out the 'wrinkle' in the fabric of time and space and now are living hunky dory in another, more calm, Earth.
NEPHILIM (too lazy to really figure out the spelling)
Uh, yeah, the bible says they did at one point...who's to say they still don't?
My theory?
Vampires.
Angels coming down to have sex with women and then their children were considered giants? Maybe giants wasn't the right translation. Maybe it was less literal.
The Nephilim were strong, fast, and almost superhero-ish.
Then the flood?
Perhaps they had to feed off the flesh and blood of dead animals and humans and that's how they became cursed?
or
They struck a deal with the devil, who turned them into 'vampires'
Reason for the ' ' s???
Because vampires, especially lately, have been depicted as glittering hot guys who make you fall madly in love with them. Not exactly the kind I have in mind. Ha ha.
Ok, so now that I’ve bored you to tears. Or made you wonder if I'm in need of psychiatric evaluation. (which I might be) I'll sign off.
I gotta sift through emails and pick some funny topics out. This was sort of fun!
Educational? Absolutely not!
But fun....and after all....isn't that what is most important??
So there is this island just off the shore of Novia Scotia, Canada, called Oak Island.
On it, there is this pit called the Money Pit, and it is supposed to have some crap load of treasure at the bottom. It was discovered by a teen in the late 1700's and since then, NOBODY has been able to dig it out!
Can we say...intriguing?
Cuz I certainly am. =)
Anyway, so when I heard of it, I looked it up and they're still digging. Apparently, whoever built it also set up ingenious traps beneath the ground. Traps no one has been able to handle. Nice.
There are a bunch of theories as to what treasure is down there.
Marie Antoinette’s lost jewels
The Holy Grail
The Ark of the Covenant (indie jones baby!)
Blackbeard's treasure
etc...
I wonder...I'd like to go there and take a look. It would be fun. With all the technology we have these days, you'd think they'd be able to figure out a way to get whatever is down there--out. Or at least figure out if there IS anything there.
Alright, enough with the boring news. Heheheh
Lately it feels as though my heart can be laid bare at any given moment. Or maybe it already has been. I shouldn’t be, but I am, and then I’m not, and then I wonder…grr. And then I’m stuck in the middle between my heart and my head where fear abounds in many different ways. Sigh. I just confused myself. I’m not mad or sad or whatever…just,, well..Just. Lol.
There are things I still have to work on when it comes to my writing hat and my mommy hat.
I really need to start setting aside time as 'writing only' and the rest of my time needs to be spent more constructively.
My family is supportive...and many friends as well.
For which I'm extremely grateful.
I always enjoy the emails from them asking how my writing is going.
And that they follow my tweets, FB page posts, blog, etc...
No way I'd ever be able to pay them back for all their support, but if (when!) I make it...I will certainly try!
My hair looks freakish. Humidity can do that.
It always curls. Grr...
I'm in the mood for Jimmy Johns...
I haven't heard Out of Eden in like forever!
Lord of the Rings is on...yeah baby
Oh! Oh! My muses are lost!
Holmes and Watson...my two main men!
(yeah, I guess it's creepy that they're my muses...but it works for me)
My cat is getting fatter....lol...pretty soon he's gonna be rolling to me.
He's too cute though.
I can't find my Rent dvd. Now doesn't that just bite my arse? Hmm...
I'm in love with FuzzyOrb. =D
I think I'm going to blow out an eardrum...I like to listen to my music really loud. Too loud. Oh well.
"Shot to the heart, and you're to blame...you give love...a bad name"
On a less random and more serious note....
I'm not always goofy.
Just love making people smile.
Life is too short not to have a laugh at your own expense.
Anywho...
I'm trying to get all my printed out crap, notebook notes, and etc...into my laptop.
Oh man!
I'm all finished with my new books so I'm going to have to save up and then go back to that half priced book store.
No, I don't feel shame. :)
I would rather ppl pay half price for my novel than waste money they don't have on it. At least they enjoy it either way. I'm not in it for the money. I just want ppl to love what they read and have a laugh along the way.
I love small towns!
If I ever had a bunch of money, whether it be from lottery, blah blah blah...I'd like to buy a ranch. Or at least some hundred (or more) acres of land to live out the rest of my days on. Preferably near the mountains where all four seasons hit. (sigh) this is my dream!
Horses, land, big open skies! And my laptop and I just relaxing on a front porch swing, taking it all in.
Anyone have tips on how to get motivated? I have no problem once I'm at the gym...it's the getting there part that eludes me.
Maybe I should join a gym with a pool. Now there's my motivation in a nutshell.
I wonder if they sell waterproof literature.
Anywho (can you tell that's my fave saying???)
I'm just listening to....
"You will fly and you will crawl. God knows even angels fall."
Kinda depressing right now. Let's switch it up.
How about....
Vida Loca? Oh yeah! Now we're talking!
Heheheh...I know...sometimes I scare myself.
Soooo.....
My daughter is pretty darn happy about staying up so late. She's wrapping my headphones around her leg, not knowing that I can see her from where I sit. Hmm...I'll give her five more minutes to do the right thing and put them back.
I'm wondering if having two emails is a good thing. It means twice the work.
Speaking of cleaning.
I really need to clean my bedroom. After my tantrum last night, it's a disaster. Cripes.

Just Sayin

My vote is for SpongeBob...though some of the things he says are just excuses for swear words. He's my kind of sponge! My daughter is obsessed with him...and Mr. Krabs. She runs around the house yelling "Barnacle head!" Oh yeah, that is so not a substitute for shithead. :) I can't help cracking up though. She tells me when she grows up, she's going to swear just like me. Ahh...words to warm a mother's heart.
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HAPPY!
That's how happy I am. :) Not about the swearing. Just in general.
My elbows are dry.
On another note...I shaved my legs today. Tee hee. Go me!
Yeah, maybe I should really get a schedule. Not for my day to day routine, but more for the critique I owe other writers. Grr...
I'm so bad at keeping track of things! Not cool when you promise things and then don't deliver. (sigh) I hope people will forgive me for being so slow. Heheheh
I can't believe how many people really keep a schedule! A friend of mine actually has both a blackberry and a little planner. He's always scribbling in the damn thing and he actually emails me to tell me he's received my email, and will respond "In short order." Heheheh. Word.
I used to have a planner. Yes, even I have succumbed to the man at one point...but then I was forced to grow up and actually have a life. There went my planner, along with all my good intentions to make better use of my time. I think I actually have it, somewhere, though all that's written in it is:
call so and so
make sure to write so and so
call back so and so
page so and so (yes, you read right.)
Ah, to be young with nothing better to do. I say this as if I'm in my seventies. Although sometimes...
So right now I'm drinking, writing, and watching this show about true stories from the ER.
Umm...yeah. Ppl are a little too calm for such extreme situations.
I should tell them about the time this guy almost tore a hole through the wall, he was so high. I swear that chair had a mind of its own...it flew right by me, barely missing my head. Now that was pretty wild!
Still, at least they're fairly accurate in portraying hospital life.
Here's a random question...why were sporks invented in the plastic variety, but not in real silverware?
Or maybe I'm just dumb and haven't seen one. Maybe they do exist. I must find out!
Wow, speaking of random, today I saw this guy walking around in a fishnet shirt that looked more like a tankini thing...big old belly hanging out. Mind you this guy was about sixty, and way too old to be doing that sort of thing.
Hell...I don't ever want to see a guy wearing such a thing. Not even if it was Hugh Jackman. (shudder)
Speaking of walnuts...I must go buy some!
Cookies here I come!
I miss my job at the cafe, only because I was allowed to sing every now and then.
Anyone know some good karaoke bars in the Chicago area??
I'm itching to bust a song or two out in the microphone.
And you won't be cringing in horror...I sing pretty darn good!
Country is my specialty, though I'm always up for a challenge. Heheheh
EWWWW
You know what I tasted the other day? Anchovies.
Just for the hell of it.
It was nasty.
Never again.
I'm looking out the window right now at the trees that surround my apartment. Since I'm on the second floor, it almost looks as though I'm floating. If I stare long enough....I get kind of dizzy. Pretty neat, huh?
I can't believe I didn't add "Love Remains the Same" on my playlist.
I just realized this. I love that song!
My hair has gotten so long and that makes me so happy. =D
A friend asked how I can keep going when my life is falling apart.
I just smiled and said, "What life?"
Just kidding.
Nah, it's just that...if you don't find humor in things, then what's the point of anything? You spend your life moping and being angry. I've tried that. It was hell on my complexion.
I'm smart enough to brush it off and say, "OOops. I guess I'd better watch it next time."
Heheheh
I love this saying: When life sucks, that's when you need to suck it up.
So I am.
This is just one page in the novel of my life. And trust me, one bad page doesn't ruin an entire story. :)
I have no more tears to cry. I have no more time to waste.
Whatever happens will happen and I'll take it as it comes.
Then I'll sweep up whatever small disasters come my way, get some superglue and a bottle of whiskey. I'll stick the pieces back together and drink to my mistakes.
The lights are all trying to go out. Awesome.
Muahuahahah! (my version of evil laughter, how was it?)
The funniest thing though...as the storm started up and the wind began blowing, trees thrashing about as the rain pelted down like bullets. Lo and behold, a five year old girl came barreling down the sidewalk on her bike with a terrified look on her face. She was screaming, pedaling towards (I'm assuming) her house. Just as I began to wonder where the parents were, I spotted her mother running and screaming after her.
It was too funny.

Take Me There

Lately it seems there has been a pattern growing. I sleep exactly three hours and ten minutes. I actually timed it the last couple nights. Wierd huh? Yeah. Definitely twilight zoneish. Heh heh.
This song always reminds me of the town I grew up in. Well, the one I mainly grew up in. We moved around a lot when growing up but there was one we actually spent more than a year in. I still love wego. Yeah it's a nickname for the town. Lol. That's not what it's called. It's one of those small towns where they still have the old main street, with the original buildings. Of course the buildings re now karate schools, nail salons, and a thrift shopt but you get the picture. Main street actually goes up quite a ways and passes the Tastee Freeze, the old indian trail that is now a bike path, all the way up to the main park. Very quiet, calm, and such a nice place to live. Of course, that got boring at times...Me being the adventure seeker I am, always had to go looking for trouble.
I'll tell you some secrets about that town.
Don't walk through the tunnel under the railroad tracks after dark. Not only are there wierdos, but you never know what kind of STD you might catch. LOL. Kidding. Just wierdos.
There's a spot on the bridge where you can play chicken with the train. It's got an escape hatch. You kick the rock away and it drops you into a soft patch of hay. I have absolutely no idea why there is hay there. It's not like there are any stables around but there it is. Haha.
Entrance X of the high school is the easiest to bust through. All you need is a credit card. It's also the entrance to the pool so if you're feeling like a late night swim, that's the way to go.
What else can I say without getting into trouble?
Nothing. Lol.
Right now I'm outside watching the wind whisper through the trees.
It's a hot day but it smells like rain. I hoope so. It would certainly cool things off a bit. Would have been a nice day for the beach.
Anywho
As for the title of the post..derr. It's the title of the song. Haha.
I love the words in this song but couldn't find one with them that actually had them spelled correctly. Dislike when that happens. Rawr. I would make one of my own but I have absolutely no idea where to start.
My brother needs a place to stay. He might crash at my place for a few months.
He's single at least. Lol. Not sure how I would handle a girlfriend.
Bah! I'll write more later. I must go hide from the storm :( Super frowny!

Cavemen Ate Candy and Loved It

I wasn't kidding about the title. I never joke about titles. LOL. Ah life.
I'm pretty sure if cavemen existed they would have found some way to eat candy. It's just not possible to be without it. Believe me. I've tried.
I was going to do another video blog but I didn't feel like it so maybe next week. Freaking out a little over school. The chickadee is going to one this fall. Sirens are going off in my head. They remind me that I still have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to raising a kid. Insecurity, rawr. Anywho. I'll deal. I have to. There is no room for insecurity in my life.
On another note, my elbows are dry again. It's a curse. It could also be cuz I was leaning on them on the concrete. But how else was I supposed to draw with the chalk? Hmm...I sound incredibly immature. Oh well.
Right now I'm sipping some hot chocolate while the sun sets, watching the Cubs game and listening to the chickadee read Dr. Suess. It's one of those moments I love. When things are calm, almost surreal. Like...nothing absolutely nothing can go wrong. It's almost perfect.
Even the cool evening air smells delish. Mmmm...It's cool enough to need a blanket but not enough to close the windows. It's gonna be a great night. Perfect for snuggling in bed with a good movie playing.
I should be writing. I will be. Just enjoying this slice of bliss. A different bliss than the one I feel when giving life to my stories. :)
Man. Cubs are losing bad.
I wonder where they sell those fans that you can squirt water from. The little ones you wear like a necklace. Walmart? Hmm. I like those. Might come in handy. Never know.
I also want some orange lipstick.
I'm getting better at playing the guitar. Go me. Still get stuck with certain chords. Cuz my fingers are so short. Trying to put music to this one song. It's a surprise. :) Hopefully I can get it by the end of summer.
I'm restless again. This is what happens. I don't know if I'd call it spring fever because it happens several times a year. My mom thinks it's the spanish in my blood. I don't know wth that means. Apparently it makes sense to her. :/ My brother is having a boy! So excited. And he got a new car. Well, used new. Lol. Ugh. I need a new car. Poor charlie.
R wants me to move with her to Maine. Been thnking of Carolina. Not sure yet. It would happen in a year or two. Got things to tie up here before I lift my roots and run for it. Things to take care of. Leglities and such. Oh...four letter words!! If he doesn't sign those papers I'm going to....Well he'd just better! This is dragging on way too long. And he knows it. Idk what he's thinking...ugh.
So I've started this excercise thing with R and she has been on my arse since I told her about it. Which is good. It's what I need. Someone reminding me daily about going to the gym and eating right. Needless to say I am going to miss my candy at four in the morngin. And my slurpees. *sob* But I need to do this. Just three months. Three months and I should be good. Ha! Then the holidays. Oi.
I gave myself bangs.
Still not sure if they look good or not.
Only time will tell.
Wow this has been about nothing.
The End.

Scratch Where It Itches?

I guess that's good advice. Like that quote too.
Anywho...nothing much to write about so I guess I'll just write everything. That totaly makes sense! Really a lot of sense..no no it doesn't.
I love those cookies with the thumbprint in the center and chocolate hershey kiss looking thing that is in it. Idk what they're called I just know I like them.
I spent an hour looking for my journal. Then I realized I'd stuck it under the mattress. Oops. Yeah.
I've been very bad at keeping up with this.
Anyway. Went for a walk. Loved it. Wish I could stay out longer but at night is when creeps come out. Ha! Nah, I get freaked when I see shadows lurking and since I had my earphones blasting I wouldn't have heard anyone coming up behind me. See? I would so be one of the first to go in a horror film. One of those TSTL characters you just love to scream at: "Look out behind you!"
Haha. Hmm
The End.

Extraordinary

I’m ready now.

Was I before? No. Not really. For more reasons than I care to explain in this.

I’m ready to be extraordinary.

To be me.

To be.

Am I going to explain that? Ha. Nope.

See, that’s the beauty of this realization…this thing that just hit me.

Crap will happen and it’s going to happen constantly in my life. I can’t control it any more than I can choose what days it should rain or shine. Though I’d like to do that very much. So I either accept it, or dwell in the insanity and lose any feeling of joy I’ve managed to acquire.

And also…that I don’t have to explain a damn thing to nobody.

I painted my wall red.

Yeah, that’s right. I hailed a cab an hour ago and went to the 24hr Wal-Mart to buy some red paint. Then I stripped down to my underwear, put on some music, and painted one of my living room walls red.

It’s like my defiant “Ha. Take that!”

Why’d I do it?

Because I can.

Heck, what kind of question is that? The real question should be: Why not?

Why not paint a wall red? It’s not permanent.

Why not eat an entire box of teddy grahams in your underwear, to the sound of Incubus blaring in the background, with the giant glass of milk?

Why not stand in the middle of the street and scream?

Why not splurge and go see a movie by yourself and laugh at all the wrong things?

Why not get the giggles at the worst times?

Why not wake up your kids in the middle of the night for milkshakes?

Why not ?

Why not? Why not? Why not?

Life is too short to be lived by too many rules. So what if it means people think you’re crazy? It’s your life not theirs. They can be stuffy and act their age if that’s what pleases them. I’d rather act the way I feel. It makes me smile more. And smiling is key.

What is that saying? ….. Live, Love, Laugh?

Durr. Whoever said it got it so right. Also, don’t forget to sing, dance and whistle.

If you can.

I can’t.

But I try.

Rawr.

LOL.

I can’t change the way I am and I’m tired of trying. Living up to everyone’s expectations of me is just too much to keep track of. Therefore I’ve made up my mind to just not. I will be as random as I please. I will do whatever I want, when I want to.

I’m responsible. I’m a good mother. I’m not going to be a complete moron and get myself arrested. There is a line between being yourself and being stupid and I’m well aware of it.

I had my fun in that sense of the word and got it all out of my system.

Besides, I don’t see any fun in having the cops chase you around at all hours of the night.

Yeah. Not that I would know….

But I’m no longer going to be afraid of letting myself come out and play. In a manner of speaking.

Guess what happened when I made that decision?

My muses returned. I smiled and cried. I felt a little nauseous from all the little bears in my belly.

And then I got on my laptop and started writing this. Ha.

Despite yesterday’s events and today’s comment that was tied to it, I am in a fantastic mood.

E will get what he gets when he gets it. Whether it’s Karma or God that gives it to him…I really don’t care. Sometimes all you need to do, or should do, is just shake your head and move on. And so I shall.

*steps off soapbox*

Alright, now that I’m awake (as if I went to sleep very long) I may as well stay that way. If I go to sleep now, I’ll just be way more tired than I already am. I only got half hour anyway, before my butt has to get walking to work. Grr walking. Not in the mood for it right now but it cannot be helped.

At least there’s a 7-11 on the way.

I could so go for a slurpee.

Then again when can I not?

Sugar is my downfall. I should stop. Or join some sort of support group. Do they even have those? Hello my name is ________and sugar speaks to me in at least ten different languages.

Now that would make for an interesting icebreaker!

I just realized that I like the Enter key a little too much. Hmm.

See? There it goes again…

The End

Randomly Things

first vid blog

Well this was interesting...part two will be next :D

Still Learning

Oh I'm so excited about this song! I really like it and can't believe it's been years since I've heard it. Shame.
Today I woke up with a smile. Can't stop smiling these days. It can't be normal. LOL. But I don't care. I'm so very happy with my life right now. Yeah so I'm not perfect and things go awry at times...but it's good. :)
I'm at work not working right now. Oh but don't worry...it will get busy very soon and then I'll be wishing I could sit down for just five minutes perty please but it won't happen. So I'm enjoying these peaceful moments.
Wanna hear an EW EW EW something something?
No? Too bad.
Well, there's this lady here. We call her brownie. Um no that's not a pet name. Yeah...ok so it's sort of mean but I didn't come up with the name! It's because she poops a lot and likes to...play with it. Yeah. Gross. So of course they usually put her on my list of patients (of course) and I have one heck of a time scraping that crap (literally!) out from under her fingernails every morning.
I don't know why she likes to play with it. I try not to ask questions to which nobody knows the answer to. LOL.
Another one we like to call 'sugar' is so cute. She has a sweet tooth just like me and pretty much refuses any food unless it's dessert. So it's a pain in the booty to get her to eat. I've learned this trick though...if you let her taste the dessert first, she'll open her mouth for more. That's when you give her a spoonful of food instead. I guess that sounds cruel but it's the only way she'll eat! Hmm.
I hope nice ppl take care of me if when I get old I need this much help.
I'm so hungry but if I eat now I'll throw my whole schedule off and end up eating four times LOL. Which I wouldn't mind except there is no such thing as fourth meal. I don't care what Taco Hell says.
Speaking of fast food, I have not had Portillos in like forever.
I so want some!
Speaking of movies...oh we weren't? Hmm.
Well, we are now.
I really, really, really wanna go see Priest!
I have my hair in a ponytail.
Yeah it's a ponytail kind of day.
I wanted to do braids but I didn't have any time. I spent most of my usual 'getting ready half hour' looking for my keys. Of course they were right where I left them last night. Next to my shoes. Which I also couldn't find for some reason. And yeah, I put both together so I WOULDN'T lose them. Go figure.
Shall I write more later?
Perhaps.
The End.

Smiling (2)

I am back!! Wow I actually got back on here and am going to write some more.
But about what? Meh. Who cares?
That's the beauty of this place. I can write anything I damn well please.
Love it!
Actually I need to vent. Vent about my dad. Whom I love very very much but is starting to aggravate me.
After having a partial lymphectomy (ugh spell check anyone?) and needing a feeding tube that he bitched about for three months...he is back to smoking. The very thing that gave him the cancer. WTF??!!
I didn't mind caring for him. My sister and I love him and of course we would do it again but it's like...come on! You know? Why would you do that? If the cancer returns they are going to have to remove the rest of his voicebox.
Or he'll die.
And at 67 he doesn't need to be trying to cheat death.
And that is my piece. I'm done venting.
The End.

Smiling

Cute song. Sappy too. I love it.
It's such a beautiful day today. Clouds were out earlier but the sky has cleared up nicely and I get off at 2 so I'll get to enjoy some of that sunshine :) Hooray!
Can't stop smiling today. Seriously. I try to but the corners of my mouth keep kicking up. It must be contagious cuz ppl around here are smiling like loonies too. Hee hee.
Got several emails from a friend yesterday and today. So good to hear from him and know he's doing well. Thank goodness for technology eh? LOL.
Oh I saw the most beautiful little house yesterday. I had visions of a garden, some wildflowers growing everywhere, a hammock where I can swing and sip iced tea. Maybe an office where I can line the walls with shelves for all my books. :) Wishful thinking for now but someday..Someday I will have all that.
And more.
I wrote several poems last night before going to sleep. I'll probably post them up soon. Except one. That one is for my eyes only. It's rather personal.
Haha I know. Me private? I have no shame and this is private? Yes.
I'll try to write more later....Try to.
The End.

Perfect

I know why this song is on my mind. It's because things going on in my family is on my mind. Particularly in my brother's life. This song is pretty perfect. No pun intended.



I've had to take over his brood for awhile. I'm their legal guardian. (my nieces and nephew) Aside from my brother and his ex girlfriend. Last week...Easter weekendish...I got a call from the babysitter. She knows I'm one of the contacts and since she couldn't get ahold of my brother she called me. There were suspicious bruises on my nephew's back and arm. Not the usual ones...he has a crooked spine so of course he has therapy and sometimes he bruises. These were different. So I told her if they looked that serious to take him to the ER. I met her there and of course since it involved a minor, social services came into the whole situation. Plus, it's happened before. Well, we could never prove it and we still don't know. But when my eldest niece was little she wound up in the ER for some suspicous marks. They wanted to take my luvs. I was freaking out. I couldn't imagine them being stuck in foster homes. I mean, I have a place and I'm their guardian so they said it was fine. I'm middle ground.
Long story short, the doc gave Jr and the rest of them stickers and suckers. I left with all of them. My brother and his ex have a court date (custody battle) on the 16th. So I have them until then. It's been interesting so far. Definitely hectic.
I give major kudos to parents w/more than one child. MAD KUDOS!
My eldest niece broke my heart today. She said: "You smile a lot. My mommy smiles a lot when she's drunk. Are you drunk?"
*heart cracks*
The fact that she knows what drunk is and that her mom only smiles when she's inebriated...damn.
And then she said: "I'm going to live with my grandma cuz my mommy says she doesn't want me anymore. I'm too loud. She says my grandma wants me."
*heart shatters*
If that judge gives that woman custody I will....I will do something bad.
No way in hell should they go with her. What kind of a mother says that to her child?
I've been smothering them with major love. My middle niece is so adorable. Squeezahuggably so. :)
My brother sees them daily. I've never seen him so broken.
I keep telling him this is just a roadblock...not a mountain. We'll get through this. He will be ok. So will they.
The End.

Sooo

So yeah. Not sure why this song was playing when I woke up but it was. So here it is. Enjoy.

Yesterday was a good day. Today will be even better.
If I get my laptop today I shall write more. :D