Extraordinary

I’m ready now.

Was I before? No. Not really. For more reasons than I care to explain in this.

I’m ready to be extraordinary.

To be me.

To be.

Am I going to explain that? Ha. Nope.

See, that’s the beauty of this realization…this thing that just hit me.

Crap will happen and it’s going to happen constantly in my life. I can’t control it any more than I can choose what days it should rain or shine. Though I’d like to do that very much. So I either accept it, or dwell in the insanity and lose any feeling of joy I’ve managed to acquire.

And also…that I don’t have to explain a damn thing to nobody.

I painted my wall red.

Yeah, that’s right. I hailed a cab an hour ago and went to the 24hr Wal-Mart to buy some red paint. Then I stripped down to my underwear, put on some music, and painted one of my living room walls red.

It’s like my defiant “Ha. Take that!”

Why’d I do it?

Because I can.

Heck, what kind of question is that? The real question should be: Why not?

Why not paint a wall red? It’s not permanent.

Why not eat an entire box of teddy grahams in your underwear, to the sound of Incubus blaring in the background, with the giant glass of milk?

Why not stand in the middle of the street and scream?

Why not splurge and go see a movie by yourself and laugh at all the wrong things?

Why not get the giggles at the worst times?

Why not wake up your kids in the middle of the night for milkshakes?

Why not ?

Why not? Why not? Why not?

Life is too short to be lived by too many rules. So what if it means people think you’re crazy? It’s your life not theirs. They can be stuffy and act their age if that’s what pleases them. I’d rather act the way I feel. It makes me smile more. And smiling is key.

What is that saying? ….. Live, Love, Laugh?

Durr. Whoever said it got it so right. Also, don’t forget to sing, dance and whistle.

If you can.

I can’t.

But I try.

Rawr.

LOL.

I can’t change the way I am and I’m tired of trying. Living up to everyone’s expectations of me is just too much to keep track of. Therefore I’ve made up my mind to just not. I will be as random as I please. I will do whatever I want, when I want to.

I’m responsible. I’m a good mother. I’m not going to be a complete moron and get myself arrested. There is a line between being yourself and being stupid and I’m well aware of it.

I had my fun in that sense of the word and got it all out of my system.

Besides, I don’t see any fun in having the cops chase you around at all hours of the night.

Yeah. Not that I would know….

But I’m no longer going to be afraid of letting myself come out and play. In a manner of speaking.

Guess what happened when I made that decision?

My muses returned. I smiled and cried. I felt a little nauseous from all the little bears in my belly.

And then I got on my laptop and started writing this. Ha.

Despite yesterday’s events and today’s comment that was tied to it, I am in a fantastic mood.

E will get what he gets when he gets it. Whether it’s Karma or God that gives it to him…I really don’t care. Sometimes all you need to do, or should do, is just shake your head and move on. And so I shall.

*steps off soapbox*

Alright, now that I’m awake (as if I went to sleep very long) I may as well stay that way. If I go to sleep now, I’ll just be way more tired than I already am. I only got half hour anyway, before my butt has to get walking to work. Grr walking. Not in the mood for it right now but it cannot be helped.

At least there’s a 7-11 on the way.

I could so go for a slurpee.

Then again when can I not?

Sugar is my downfall. I should stop. Or join some sort of support group. Do they even have those? Hello my name is ________and sugar speaks to me in at least ten different languages.

Now that would make for an interesting icebreaker!

I just realized that I like the Enter key a little too much. Hmm.

See? There it goes again…

The End