Messy

This song always makes me laugh. It seems like the type of thing a guy would say to a girl and not the other way around but that's why I love it so much.
Oh what a lazy day today feels like. I'm now at the library trying to get as much done online as I can. Since my laptop will be MIA for at least another month. Super frowny face.
I was hoping it would be ready by this weekend but unfortunately that's just the way my luck goes.
Nothing ever has been, is or ever will be easy for me. Story of my life.



There's this old woman who is always at the library. She's stiting in the cubicle beside me right now and humming what I think is CeeLo lol. She's cute. I always feel bad for her because I know she's a bit nuts and homeless. Oh man. This winter was brutal too. I came here a few times a week and drove her to the shelter cuz...well I have a car, I had the time, and so why not? Why should I let her walk or wait in that awful weather for a bus that sometimes doesn't come. (the city really needs to get on that) That would be so bitchy if I did that. And well, much as I tried for awhile (seriously) I just can't be bitchy. Except once a month. Lol. So stay away during that time. Haha!
Yeah so that's a good deed of mine for the witner. Still gotta find one for spring. Summer is the soup kitchen. Oh man that's gonna suck. It always gets so hot in there! At least I don't have to cook. Hee.
Enough about do goody things.
As for the title of this post. Life is messy. I've come to realize that those messes are what makes life though. So my mess at the moment? Uh, trying to gather the nerve to tell my mother about my big D. Ugh.
Oh that's not going to be pretty. Much as I love my mother, and I do--she is one of my closest confidants--there are some things she's a bit edgy about. Which is dumb in my opinion because she herself has been divorced. So what the hell?
Hm. I guess in her mind it was ok because she was forced into the whole marriage thing. Oh man. I wonder what her reaction is going to be when I explain...things.
I probably won't. Not as much. She's a little...naive. Kinda like an overgrown child. Ok that sounds mean but she's not the brightest bulb. I am not ashamed of her. I'm proud of both my parents. My mother never graduated highschool because she got pregnant with me and then she married another guy. Whom I consider my father on all accounts. My biological father was never around. So in my mind he doesn't really count.
I think my dad has an idea that I'm not his. My mother never told him. She didn't even tell me until I turned twelve. But it's painfully obvious...the differences between us. He never went past eight grade. But they made it. And raised us the best they could. So how could I not be proud of them?
But yeah my mom is a little naive. She knows so little about the world. Sometimes it was me protecting her when I was growing up. Defending her when my friends or other adults made fun. Grrr. So that's why I might keep some things from her. Why ruin her view of everything? I survived. No harm done. Well, not anymore.
Well. We'll see how this whole mess plays out by next week.
The End.